Volunteering.In my mind I’m thinking you were the man that got out the car and went in maybe he thinks why didn’t I go in

On Highway 64  my life came to a sign that said volunteers needed to help out at the  scouts  I felt like I pulled over and looked at that sign to think about whether it’s something I should do and whether it would help with my anxiety and  depression. I looked at that sign and saw that it said turn left if you would like to volunteer so I start my engine up again  Pull  out onto the highway and drive slowly with a little bit of  nerves as I decide to turn left and do something that is a little bit scary. I’m basically trying to describe my life as if it was on a highway 64 and this is something that I have decided to do. My mother posted me a message on messenger about my local village needing scout leaders and that I should volunteer as it would help get me out and meet new people and seeing as I’m not working I could easily fit it into my life.I pluck up the courage To email the person that says I should email if I am interested with all the necessary details e.g. phone number,name and where I live. They get back to me and say they are very interested and pleased that I contacted them  and give me the necessary forms I need to fill out. Here comes the tricky part I see that Highway 64 has a traffic jam up ahead as forms are not my thing due to my dyslexia so in order for me to clear the traffic jam  I need to make a call and ask my mum to help me fill out this form  so that I can clear the traffic jam and carry on driving.  I see  up head   A car going very slowly and then I have to do a scary thing which for some people may be easy to do and that is go and meet the person in charge of the scouts to get an idea of what I am supposed to do before  I start. I’m behind the slow car called my anxiety and nerves but I know I have to overtake this car in order to get somewhere so I look behind in the mirror to see  if anything is stopping me from overtaking my anxiety and see that there ,was nothing I put my indicator on by letting people know  what I am doing but I feel like I need to have another look behind my shoulder just to make sure I can do this and overtake my anxiety and nerves. I end up at the scout hall at the time I’m supposed to be knowing that I’m supposed to meet the person in charge of scouts as I know he is picking up his boy   From scouts. It’s a cold night and I decided to stand outside the scout hall waiting for someone to pull up and look for me. I see two cars pull up one with someone Who goes into the hall and another car with someone who decides to sit in  it and wait. By this time I’m not sure if I should go into the hall or just stay outside and white as I do not want to interrupt the class and I think to myself that I’m sure the person  Will look out for me. The door to the scout hut suddenly opens and the man says to me are you the person willing to volunteer and I say yes.In my mind I’m thinking you were the man that got out the car and went in maybe he thinks why Did she not come in.I  then think quickly on my feet  and say I wasn’t sure if it was okay to come in. By this time I’m cold maybe too cold to even think about my  nerves. We sit down and have a little chat and I hand over my forms and I get to meet the person I will be working with who seems very nice. I am only there for a short period and think to myself on the way home why was I nervous I was only there for less than half an hour and when I do start volunteering  I will be a volunteer so in actual fact I’m doing them a favour and giving up an hour and a half of my time and not getting paid for it. I know it seems weird that I should be thinking of me giving up my time and doing something. Within a week I get a phone call saying that I can now start volunteering at the scouts and then I can start on Thursday  I said to the man that will be fine and see you then. The thing is there is a traffic jam on Highway 64  that is my anxiety and my shyness I know I have to get through this traffic jam into the other  Side I think to myself can I just stay behind in this traffic jam and just carry on going slowly and stopping and starting but if I do that then I’m  letting my anxiety  win  and not taking a risk  by pushing my way through that traffic jam so that I can go to my first scout meeting and be that volunteer. Thursday comes around and I know that I have my first scout meeting that night. I’m a little anxious and shy and do not know what will be required of me and what if they ask me to do things and I feel I cannot do it due to my dyslexia? I think to myself just go at a nice speed  and if you need to slow down then do so but as long as you’re going at a nice speed  and thinking that I will feel Better after it and so what if I’m asked to do things that are out of my comfort zone I will Deal with them  when they arise. To cut a long story short my first meeting was not too bad I managed to walk in and meet the person I had already met before and feel a little bit more at ease. I am introduced  to the boys I will be helping out as a scout volunteer and leader. I feel that because they’re only young and that I am older than them that I have the upper hand and that they cannot do anything to me to make me feel anxious well I think that now but who knows. Scout leader says thank you for your help and says that if I have any ideas on what activities we can do then I can say so and that he appreciates me volunteering. On my way home I have a sense of accomplishment that I managed to walk into the scout hut  and do something that I normally feel uncomfortable doing .